A day in my life

 I never write enough in here. I feel like I need to find something "interesting" to write about. I always amuse those on my person ravening account because I can always find little blurbs in my life that I know may entertain others. But a whole blog post? Well, I realized something. My life... Is interesting. I'm not boring, I'm downright amusing in my daily life and I should write about it. People always tell me that I should write a book about my life. Maybe I will. But first I'll write in my blog. So here is my first entry in the series I'll call "a day in my life"

Wednesday started out about the same as the day before except, this day I almost forced myself to stay awake long enough to realize that there would soon be a knock at the door. I was semi-conscious when the boy I babysit got here, little Messy boy (which we will affectionately call him because he is a little mess maker). I'm sure it's comforting to leave your child with a raccoon woman mumbling incoherently to you as you leave. Crap, I should have taken my make up off before I passed out face down drooling onto my pillow. I know I must have looked as frightening as I felt that morning.
  I know I have to pull myself together somehow. Coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee. I NEED coffee. Oh, and some kind of breakfast for the kids. Destroyer boy has his own opinions about everything so I rattled off a few suggestions that he shoots down one by one. Oh well, I then decide to make myself a bagel. When destroyer boy sees me taking my first bite of bagel he says "I want a baydool" even though he said he didn't want one five minutes ago. Baby Dude crushes a muffin and eats whatever doesn't end up in the carpet.
  A while after breakfast I vacuum the massive amounts of crumbs off the floor and pick up a few stray dinosaurs and too many toys that are littered across the living room. Then I remember that I need to mail a package. To China. I contemplate not bothering at all but decide a walk to the post office won't be so bad. Check the weather get dressed, try, try, try to get out the door. We eventually get outside which takes, as usual, far too long. I get the double stroller out of the van and strap baby Dude in the front. He is content and loves the stroller. Thank goodness. Destroyer boy sits in the back and Messy boy walks alongside holding on. 
  We don't get far before Destroyer boy wants to walk too. He wants to be a big boy in every aspect except toilet training. But I digress... We walk a bit and Destroyer boy stops to pick something up. He has found a dinosaur egg. It's not very big and it's the invisible kind. He cradles it carefully in his palm. I ask him to keep holding on to the stroller if he is going to walk with us. I can tell he is having difficulty keeping his egg safe and holding the stroller at the same time. We don't get much further along before he insists we stop. He is fidgeting with his pocket and I'm not sure what he's doing. "I put my didoor egg in my pocket. We can go now" Good. The last thing we need is him dropping his dinosaur egg on the sidewalk. Lord knows it could be last of it's kind and I couldnt handle the guilt of it's second extinction. The rest of the way goes pretty well with a few "what's that?"s and "look mommy"s.
  We finally get to the post office. It only took 35 entire minutes, a walk which takes a mere 20 minutes in adult steps. We run into an aquaintance I know from work who holds the door for our brood. We exchange quick hellos and he has an odd expression come across his face. I assume its because I have a large mob of small humans with me. Only after we get inside do i realize my baby Dude is just contently licking a slimy trail of nose goo off if his lip flowing in a continuous stream from his nostrils. Figures. Between that and me realizing Messy boy is wearing his pants on inside out, I must look like mother of the year. I dont have much time to sit on that thought however. We arrive at 12:36pm greeted by steel bars. The post office closes for an hour lunch, at 12:30pm. "Oh man!" I say aloud, thinking of an exclamation slightly more profane. I sigh, "they are closed, boys. What should we do now?" Then I remember Destroyer boy was asking about going to the library earlier and it is just down the road. So off we go to kill some time.
  On the way to the library, I quizzed the older two on the most important library rule. "Be Quiet!" Messy boy answered. Of course my Destroyer boy didn't know the answer, he doesn't even know the meaning of the words. I make them both repeat the phrase out loud. We get to the library and I let them play for about forty five minutes. I spend a majority of that taking toys out of baby Dude's mouth a hundred and thirty four times. "Are you ready to leave now?" I ask desperately. "No." answers Destroyer boy. "We will never be weady to weave" replies Messy boy. I throw the idea of Slurpees into the air as sort of a bribe. That does the trick. I guess "never" comes pretty quick. We take a walk down to 7-11 and baby Dude starts howling as soon as he sees the Slurpee machine. Can we say spoiled? Yep, spoiled at 16 months old. I can't get him that Slurpee fast enough. You would think it was life or death situation. When he FINALLY gets his Slurpee he looks so darn happy he quietly sips on that thing through the entire ordeal of getting the other two. Ordeal,  of course, because we are picking colors, wanting to do everything ourselves and goodness me I gave Destroyer boy the wrong color straw. 
 After 7-11 we head back to the Post Office. When we get inside Destroyer boy starts leaping around happily yelling "Yay! Yay! Them open, them open! Yay!" followed by Messy boy until they made quite the cute scene. An older woman on line commented on how cute they were and I agreed. Until they discovered the Parcel lockers.
  The Parcel locker wall is three lockers high and maybe ten lockers across. A few of them have keys in them that are I assume yet to be rented out. Of course the Curious Georges had to run over and open every one that  had a key and look inside. After all, who knows what wonders may await inside. A Narnia of sorts perhaps. By the time I got up to the counter, I'm sure cuteness was replaced by annoyance due to the repeated slamming of lockers. I had tried coaxing, calling and threats but they were much to fascinated by the walk of magic lockers. After speaking with the Postal worker for mere minutes I turn towards the lockers and the boys are nowhere to be seen. I would have panicked had I not distinctly heard them talking little kidenese by the wall. Before even finishing my transaction I run over to the locker wall and yank open the talking one. There inside scrunched up like a mischievous ball is my Destroyer boy. I have no idea where Messy boy is but I pull Destroyer boy out and what do you know there's the other little trouble maker squeezed in behind him. I caught them just in time. Another minute and they would have been driving Mr. Tomlin out of his horns. I take them back to the counter with me and am asked by the Postal worker if I am running a babysitting service. "Practically" I answer and finish my transaction. 
  I hurried out of the Post Office and two seemingly little gentlemen held the doors for me.  Ok little hellions, all is forgiven. The walk home was painstakingly slow as my Destroyer boy wanted to stop every five feet to touch or climb something. My little Dude fell fast asleep a few minutes away from home.  When we finally got there a lengthy three hours after we left, all I wanted to do was sit, but I had to get dinner into the slow cooker and put away some laundry. At least I was off from my other babysitting jobs this day.  I decided to leave Baby Dude asleep in the stroller until after I started dinner and then I could bring him upstairs. I put on Calliou and prayed for a moment of peace. I instructed the boys to be quiet for a few minutes until I could bring the baby upstairs. Not five minutes later Dude was crying and the Destroyer was climbing though the cargo area of the stroller. As soon as he saw me he looked up with puppy dog eyes and said "Sowee mommy". I just sighed and picked up Baby Dude. No peace is scheduled for today.
  The rest of my evening involved fun stuff, like laundry, nursing, making dinner and going to work. I'll spare you those exciting details and leave you craving more. I hope that the glimpse into my day brought someone out there enjoyment.  Stay tuned for another exciting chapter in a day in my life.