Friday, June 5, 2009

Can't shake the "blah"

I have just been feeling off lately. I have lost some of the desire to do the things I not so long ago, enjoyed. I am barely enjoying anything anymore. I could possibly attribute this to that monthly disturber of my life. I only just got my first period since giving birth to my now 14 month old about a month ago. I have been breastfeeding and was hoping to avoid getting it until weaning, but mother nature had other plans. I hope it's just hormones.
I don't have any sort of "good" reason for feeling this way. I know money is tight but we are not suffering or going hungry. I also applied for a job, which we need desperately and haven't gotten called back. I was really looking forward to making some money and this job was going to work out so well, since I would have to work around hubby's hours. But even then it's not like there aren't any other jobs i can get. There hasn't been any extra stress lately, just the normal everyday stress.
I used to have a passion for life that seems to have been swept under the rug. My optimism has dwindled and my energy has dipped. I used to look forward to going for walks with my baby and lately I haven't even wanted to leave the house. It's just strange. I don't know how to get out of this funk. It's only been this way for the last 6 weeks or so. I am really trying to feel like my old self again but I'm not sure exactly how. I just feel blah. Where is my passion? My optimism, my rose-colored glasses? I have misplaced them and I checked everywhere I can think of. It's not right.
I may be feeling lost now but I will be found! I will have to get myself out of this funk and back to funky. Just you wait. I am in here somewhere. I just have to come back! Right?